Wordless
by Naoji
Summary: [Based on Meine Liebe, NaojiLui] Naoji has to go back to Japan, can he find the right words to say to Lui before he goes?


**Disclaimer: **Meine Liebe © Kaori Yuki

**A/N: **Just finished watching both Meine Liebe and the latest episode of ML Wieder. I decided to write a long cheesy oneshot and was disappointed when ffnet didn't have a specific category for it…oh well. Please r&r, much thankies.

--

Ludwig's tongue was sharp and his eyes even sharper still. Though he could make neither heads nor tails of the thin brush strokes that painted the piece of parchment, slightly crumpled at the edges, but still, only because he was Ludwig, he knew.

Albeit a more than a little distracted, years of practice allowed Naoji to pour two cups of tea without spilling anything. He placed one in front of his silent companion, and lifted the other porcelain chalice soundlessly to his lips.

Ludwig did not reach for his glass, he merely stared intently at the paper, as if sheer will could translate the words upon it into something he could actually understand. At last, he asked, "Naoji, that letter, is it summoning you home?"

Rarely did Naoji permit himself to meet the other's unwavering gaze, but he always made it seem like an accident, missing Ludwig's eyes just so. It was not like that, this time. The Japanese boy reached for the letter. "No, Lui." His words held no trace of their usual timid, but elegant fluidity. "…The letter is from my mother, she writes to tell me that my father has fallen gravely ill."

"I see." A pause, then, "Does she not request that you return home?" Ludwig wanted to know.

It was not at all in Lui's nature to offer any sort of condolences, even to his friends, how foolish Naoji was for thinking that he would be the exception. Averting his gaze once more, he scanned the letter. "It does hint." He said finally.

His companion was silent, most likely to come up with an excuse for the sudden, clouded silence that separated them, Ludwig took a very slow sip of tea. "An honorable son would abide by his mother's wishes."

"In Japan, it is not customary for a mother's wishes to be obeyed." Naoji folded the parchment carefully and set it down beside him. "However the circumstances."

"But your father? Surely he wishes to see his son one last time before he passes."

Then it hit him. Lui was telling him to go. Naoji supposed that he should have felt something. Surprise, at the very least. But emotions failed him. He opened up the letter and recited woodenly, "It is true that he wishes to see me. He also wishes that I use all that I have learned here in Kuchen to reform our clan when I return."

Silence reigned for the second time in mere minutes. Ludwig took another drink, obviously taking his time to process this new piece of information. All he managed to offer after what seemed like an eternity had passed was, "...Reforms take a long time."

"I know."

Ludwig rose and made his way to the door, letting his shoulders brush Naoji's as he passed. "...When will you go?"

Lest the other see his expression, he busied himself by clearing the table, keeping his eyes on the satin tablecloth, searching for tea stains that he knew full well would not exist, they were both too careful. "…As soon as I set things in order."

"I see." Ludwig swept out and the intricate double doors slammed seconds later.

But it was as if another door had slammed too, and the lock clicked, somewhere deep inside of him.

--

He stayed up all night drafting the letter. Though as soon as it was finished, he tore it into thin strips, opened his window and watched in grim satisfaction as the bits of parchment floated down onto the noiseless courtyard below.

Naoji sat staring at the single, melting candle that served as his light. He traced his finger idly in the hardening wax, and then he got up and made tea. But tea did not seem to offer the same sense of comfort when one was utterly alone.

After he finished his fifth cup of tea, Naoji took out another fresh piece of parchment and wrote:

_Dear Lui _

He left it at that and threw that letter out the window too.

--

"Wait--you what!" Eduard, who had been placidly admiring the blossoming marigolds that Camus had recently planted, yelled out when Naoji made the announcement. "Leaving?"

Orpherus and Camus too, looked equally alarmed. "But…Naoji," Orpherus found his voice first, if anything, he was so refined that he was able to find words for any circumstance, "…But—you will be returning. You are a Strahl candidate, after all. I'm saddened to hear about your father's illness, but don't they realize…" he broke off.

Naoji had always been the kind of person who enjoyed silence, he found it calming. But this was anything but. "…I was sent here to Kuchen to avoid the tribal wars that were gripping Japan." He said finally, "…I…I think…" he could not finish.

Camus rescued him, "…Do they have flowers in Japan too?" he asked.

"The weather's a bit cold back," Naoji immediately turned to the pale boy, grateful for the shift of subjects, "But I'm sure the _Sakura_ are blooming nicely."

"_Sakura_?" Camus prompted.

"Cherry blossoms," Naoji told him, "They are very beautiful."

"I want to talk to them, one day." Camus turned his attention back to the flowers, "Will you take me?"

Another dead end. "I…" Really, how hard was it? From the moment he set foot in Rozenstolz Academy, he had known this day would come.

"Speaking of which," Ed walked over to him, "Have you told Lui?" and his face suddenly paled, not that Naoji could tell much from his tan. "…Speaking of the devil--" his voice at once dropped to a barely audible whisper, "Oh, I didn't notice you standing…there."

Naoji turned and saw why.

Lui.

He turned and ran.

--

Warm fingers, gripping his wrist.

Empty of all emotion, violet eyes, holding him there.

"Lui…I--" Naoji hastily shook of the hand. "Please, excuse me."

Ludwig never said anything, he just let go.

--

Naoji pointedly avoided Lui for the next few days, knowing that Ludwig tended to keep clear of Orpherus and Eduard like a contagious plague, he stuck around with them. They did not shun him, but it would be a lie to say that they welcomed him with open arms.

And whenever he had to announce the news of his leaving, Naoji painstakingly made sure that Ludwig wasn't anywhere near earshot.

The reactions of his peers were varied; some were not so keen to hide their relief, (for even a Strahl candidate so low-profiled as Naoji had his rivals) while others openly expressed what a shame it was for him to leave. He had such a bright future as one of the chosen few Strahl candidates. And in the most extreme of cases, a girl (whose name he never learned) wrote him a fifty-stanza eulogy that sounded like _he _was the one who was mortally ill.

As for Orpherus and Eduard, they talked more and more of the past times with him, neither of them ever brought up the subject of his departure ever again.

They asked him to teach them Japanese, so that they might come and visit him someday, and not look like 'a couple of fools' as Eduard jokingly put it. But despite himself, Naoji could not help but laugh at their accents.

He almost forgot about Lui during those times. But always, not quite.

--

Of all people, it had to be Camus.

The pale boy had asked him to come along to help with the watering of the garden, though Naoji instantly deduced that there was something more, since Camus was much too sweet-natured to ask anyone to help, even his closest friends, and besides, he loved his flowers and didn't view watering them as a chore.

"Why aren't you talking to Lui anymore, Naoji?" Camus asked quietly, breaking the calm.

"…I don't do it on purpose." Was all Naoji could think of to offer as he took the water jug from the other's hands. "I am not angry at him, if that's what you mean."

Camus's lips curled up in a faint, rare half-smile and shook his head, "That's not what I meant, Naoji, and you know perfectly well."

Then again, being friends with an empath had its disadvantages, "…I don't know how." He finally confessed, "I do not know how I can face him."

Camus laid a hand on his shoulder. "Face him like you have always done." He advised gently. "Lui…after you leave, he will miss you a lot." A pause, "It hurts him when you're not talking to him." And then he smiled, "You probably know a lot better than I do how sensitive he is deep down."

"I don't know anything."

Camus laughed. "…Try asking him." A course of action deemed nothing short of impossibly, "Trust me, Naoji, you'd be surprised about how much you know."

Those words brought unexpected comfort. Though Naoji still thought he knew nothing.

--

"Come in." Came Ludwig's voice from within.

Part of Naoji wanted to just to walk in there and get it over with. He had finally handed in the necessary documents for him to leave the Academy and Mr. Foster, ever kind, had booked him on a ship bound for Osaka at the end of the week. Yet, another part of him just wanted to walk away from it all.

He went in.

Ludwig was sitting at his desk, perusing a thick leather-covered volume. "Naoji." He appeared only mildly surprised.

"Lui…I want to talk."

Silence. Then Ludwig put his book down. "I still have one of the tea packets that you left here." He said finally.

More gratified than words could ever express, Naoji nodded, "I'll be just a minute."

Ludwig stood up, "…I'll be outside."

"…Outside?" Naoji blinked.

"The night is still warm."

--

Balancing a hot teapot in one hand and two porcelain cups in the other, Naoji set them down. The night breeze indeed felt warm on his face. He poured tea and took the seat across from his expressionless friend. Suddenly at a loss for words, Naoji looked to Ludwig for help. None came, which was expected.

"Well?" Ludwig prompted, when a decent interval of nothingness had passed.

"I'll be leaving at the end of the week." Naoji started, and then he realized that Ludwig's cup was empty and refilled it. "Foster-san has been very kind, as to pay for my passage home."

"Yes, I've heard."

Naoji instinctively cringed, "Lui…I—really…" once again, he faltered, public speaking had never been one of the strong points (and this was hardly public…it was just Lui.) Only just Lui, Naoji took another deep breath, determined to go on, "I want to apologize."

"Apologize?" Cup frozen halfway to his lips, Ludwig stared back at him, this time in genuine astonishment. "What for?"

"…I'm not strong enough to walk the path that you take." It was the closest he could come to the truth, Naoji could not very well tell him what Camus had disclosed to him. "I think…if I go back, then you won't be held back because of me." Putting all the blame on himself was an easy tactic. "So for all the times you had to endanger your reputation for me, I apologize."

"When have I ever said you held me back?" Ludwig asked bluntly.

Naoji instantly averted his eyes, "…Please, Lui, don't make it harder than it already is."

"Look at me." Ludwig commanded suddenly.

Naoji complied.

"Now tell me."

"Tell you?"

"You did not come here just for this." Ludwig got abruptly to his feet and walked over to the edge of the balcony. "Say what you truly came here to say, Naoji."

"…There's--" cutting himself off hurriedly, Naoji shook his head, "I can't."

"And why can't you?"

"There's too much to say." He felt like an absolute idiot, but what was said was said, and he had no other choice but to continue, Naoji too, got up and joined Ludwig at the edge of the balcony. "I can't find the right words to say them. And there is nowhere near enough time."

Ludwig smiled a very faint smile that Naoji had to look more than twice to make sure that it was there. "Try. Even if words fail you."

"…I care for you." The statement was so stupid, and yet they had taken all the courage of the world to say them. Naoji then stopped, waiting for the other to laugh.

Quite the contrary, Lui did not laugh, nor did he smirk. Naoji did not dare believe it, but it seemed that the other's smile had just grown.

Relying on this burst of enthusiasm alone, he plunged ahead, "I've…so much more to say…but…"

"So stay with me and say them." Lui's hands cupped gently around his face. "Never mind the words."

He was sure that he was blushing; Naoji uttered a silent prayer, thanking God that it was dark. "Do you want me to leave?"

"When have I ever said that I wanted you to leave?"

"But I thought…"

Lui kissed him, lightly, a reaction that Naoji could not even begin to dream. "You think, and you never say." He reprimanded softly, "These words leave my lips no easier, Naoji. But I have had many of the same thoughts."

"Lui…"

Another kiss, harshly, yet tenderly breaking him off, Lui tasted slightly like herbs, probably due to the tea he was drinking. "Tell me the rest of it when you come back. Do not say anything else now."

All too happily, Naoji obeyed, "You said so yourself that reforms take a long time. Perhaps I better say all of it now, so I don't forget."

Ludwig released him and the worse for wear smirk resurfaced, "Come back to me, and I will always remind you. No matter how many times you forget."

--

-Fin-


End file.
